Sipping Through A Hot Cup Of Tea...

And Sitting Through The Entire Saturday Morning Was What I Wanted...

But I Knew I Can't Achieve That Simple Goal of Mine...

Even Though Having The Cup Of Tea Sitting Directly Infront Of Me...

I Can Do Nothing...

Projects Driving Me Nuts...

Or Maybe Not "Projects"...

But...

Somehow It Links To The Other Half...

It Seems To Be A Joke Or Something That Spoils Everyone Moods Or Even Their Lifes...

This Applies To Those "Slaves" Working On Some Others Concepts While Theirs Being Marked At The...

Fullstop...

Just A Tiny Small Dot That Stops Everything...

Some Wish To Complete Everything From A To Z...

As It Just Feel Like Something Dangling Out Of Nowhere...

But It's Ain't Possible...

Maybe This Is The Time When We Were Being Taught To Leave Things Undone In A Different Way...

One Could Continue On And Achieve Their Intentions...

But Will That Even Happen?

Only If History Could Change Itself...

And Not Being Manipulate By Some Other Unexpected Circumstances...

Life Made Unfair For Almost Half Of The Strength...

I Would Say I'm One Of Them Too...

Just A Simple Thank You To The One Working With Me Right Now...

A Total Change In My Life...

My Mindset...

And...

What I Desire Most...

My Hope...

I Don't Get To See Any Light Ahead...

I Once Told A Few Of My Pals About This...

I Want To Quit...

Yes...

To Quit...

Spent The Entire Sleepless Night Thinking Of This...

Quitting Seems To Be Only The Best Choice Ahead...

I Can't Stand The Things I'm Doing Right Now...

Even My Friends Pity Me For What I'm Doing...

I'm Suffering...

They See Through That...

This Is The Second Time I'm Hovering That Thought Inside Me...

Wondering Where And How I Could Reach For That Pink Withdrawal Form...

And To Stare At It Blankly For A Few Moments In Life...

I Don't Wish To Complete Anything Right Now...

Or Maybe...

Not To Lay My Hands On The Things That Kept Me Behind Bars...

I Admire The Spirit Of Kamikaze...

I Feel Like Doing So...

But In Another Way...

To Sacrifice My Grades...

And Retake It Again...

I Wish To Fail For This...

For Which I Can't Stand That Dependant Thoughts Coming From The Other...

Although The Concept Wasn't Mine...

But I'm Doing It Just Like My Own...

Just Because The Other Half Don't Seem To Use The Brain At All...

Maybe That's The Good Thing That You See...

What Lies Beneath Isn't What You Will Think Of...

What I Had Was Only The Basic Design And The Basic Overall Dimensions Of It...

With Only...

Length...

Breath...

Width...

And...

Height...

But The Most Distressing Fact Was That...

Mostly Was Wrong...

Spent Days And Nights Thinking Of All Possibilities Just For That Damn Thing...

Calculating All Dimensions Again And Again...

I Just Don't Know If The Other Half Was Plainly Stupid Or Just Dependant On Me...

Halfway Through The Project...

Just Before The Actual Start Of The Modeling...

I Had Already Been Informed By The Others Who Care...

About The Issue That My Other Half Will Make Use Of Me...

Making Me Think...

Squeezing My Brain Juices Just To Think For That Damn Thing...

I Just Want To Rant...

Rant My Way Out...

Swear Words Squeezing Through...

But...

I Tried Preventing It...

There's No Way I Could Stop It Right Now...

I Had Already Manage To Give Whatever Shit The Other Half Wanted...

But...

It Seems That It Had Been Pushed Further And Further On...

Somebody Just Trying Their Luck On Me...

No Satisfactory...

Requested For More...

Even With No Effort Being Put In...

While I'm The One Thinking And Working On It...

The Other Half Blindfolded Many Out There...

Making People Think That Everything Had Been Done With Own Abilities...

But...

Some Seen Through It...

Realizing The Fact That It Ain't A Person Job...

Or Maybe...

I Would Called It...

The Slave's Job...

Well...

I Guess That I Am Going Out Of Point Soon...

And I Shall Stop Here...